May 27, 2016
Michael Covel speaks with Daniel Shapiro. Dan is author of
“Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.” He demonstrates negotiation as a
process and quantifiable. His work tries to articulate practical
negotiation skills based on the most recent science. Dan’s work
started when he was working in eastern central Europe when
countries were going from open, to closed societies. He wanted to
help people deal with conflict more effectively especially the
emotional side of it, and more specifically, dealing with identity.
He looked at: Do relationships matter in negotiations? Do emotions
matter? And how do you deal with them? He has spent the last 20 to
25 years learning how these intertwine. Dan’s website sums up his
work perfectly saying, “Drawing on these experiences and his years
of research at Harvard, he has developed a wealth of practical
approaches to amplify influence and leadership—in business, in
government, and in life.”
Dan and Michael start off discussing, “What gets us so stuck in
emotionally charged conflicts?” This is a question that drives Dan
and his work. In the early 1990’s Dan was working with refugee’s in
Yugoslavia hoping to promote good communication. He was doing a
workshop in Serbia where he met a women who shared a personal story
of tragedy that has stuck with him for the last 24 years. His work
is a homage to help people who may feel hopeless, like there could
not be any more room for negotiation. Michael says, “Well aren’t
there some situations where negotiation is not even on the table
and things are just going to play out?” So often we get into ruts
of feeling this way, thinking there is no possible way out, but
more often than not there is always negotiations that can take
place. There is always a way out.
Next, Michael asks, “Don’t both people need to be willing to
negotiate to enter a negotiation?” The short answer is no. It only
takes one side to move toward a resolution. Also, don’t ever assume
that both sides of a conflict need to be rational. The classic
challenge within conflicts that he sees is “How do you deal with an
irrational person?” Everyone thinks that they are the rational ones
and the opposite party is irrational.
Michael and Dan move on to discuss BATNA. BATNA is an acronym for;
Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. It is your “walkaway
alternative”. Most people walk away to a worst situation than they
were in. You always need to think rationally and not emotionally
about your alternative. Lastly, Dan gives an overview of what he
calls the five lures of the tribal mind; vertigo, repetition
compulsion, taboos, assault on the sacred and identity politics.
Dan expands and gives examples of these lures. He says that these
concepts are obvious and everyone has experienced them. He just
puts words to these feelings that people have so people can
identify and help work through them.
In this episode of Trend Following Radio:
- Negotiations
- Self awareness
- BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement)
- Five lures of the tribal mind